What boys like

Dear hearts,

I want to make the disclaimer up front that what I am about to write is Academic. If I could live my life in words I would be a genius. A good looking, successful, funny, together, rich genius. Or maybe a fortune teller or turban wearing Guru. Maybe what I will do is have my bank account details at the bottom of this piece, and if my advice works for you, you can put money in my account…Just think, if I get good at this I may be able to retire from the pen world (it’s exhausting) and lie by the pool with laptop and cocktails dispensing advice and style tips…all the while listening to the electronic ca-ching…

Here we go.

What Boys Like or How to Win a Boys Love.

Ok stop laughing right now. I direct this comment to the Bright Young Things, Miss Mellie and Miss Christine. It may be true that I have not the best track record when it comes to these matters. But that does not preclude me, Dear hearts, from having good sound Academic Advice. (Please note the Capital letters…)

In theory, and let’s face it, that’s all I’ve got, …it’s not that difficult to put on paper what boys like or, how to win a boy’s love. I’m not suggesting you actually go out and have a crack, certainly not. What I am suggesting is that we look at the situation to try and understand (as girls), what makes those beautiful boys tick.

I do love them so. Well, some of them.

Paramount and top of list is:

You catch more bees with honey than lemon. The hair shirt doesn’t fit anybody well. You may think that by punishing them with silence or with holding yourself from them will whip them into shape, but here’s the tip, you are sorely mistaken. It will only drive them inward and lead ultimately to resentment and detachment. And it’s not good for you either. Who needs black in their heart.

They don’t like a nag. The more you berate, the more you go over old beaten ground, the more they will dig their heels in and withdraw. Horses, dogs or men…you do not want to see the white of their eyes.

Don’t be a Ball breaker. The days of breaking a horses spirit to make it do as you please are gone. Who wants a ride like that anyway. Don’t use guilt or coercion or threats. It says more about your inadequacies than it does the other.

DON’T SHOUT! Awful isn’t it? And so unseemly…A little decorum girls. One can make a far stronger point by lowering one’s voice and having a steely determination in one’s tone. Trust me, Dear hearts, at that one I am very good.

Mind Games. Don’t get involved in that shit. It does no one any good and will only end in tears. If you do it, I sincerely hope the tears are all yours.

That’s quite a few Don’ts. Shall we move on to some Do’s.

Do relax. Frankie said it best in the 80’s. And he is still on the money (shot)…Uptight, intense women are really scary. Enough said, I’m frightened just thinking of it..and as someone once said to me…just relax girl. I must confess to that making me a little bit horny, but that was a different dynamic…and it did make me relax.

Play. I have spoken of this before. Boys, no matter their age…are boys. It’s not difficult. It’s actually incredibly simple. Boys love to play. Word games, sex games, wrestling, cowboys and Indians…easy. And too much fun..It’s a win win situation.

Be generous. Listen to them. They may wish to spend 10 minutes explaining a diesel engine and the difference between torque and performance (or something like that..I wasn’t fully listening..) but it’s not going to kill you to appear interested and you may actually learn something.

Acknowledge their effort. They try really hard. They really do. Let’s be honest, we are hard arses. We set these standards, and I’m not suggesting they should be lowered. Noone has higher standards of manners and behavior than Miss Mich, but it is our responsibility to acknowledge when they make an effort. Often, they cannot fathom why it is so important to us that the table napkins be folded in a particular way, or that the toilet seat should always be down. Or that their dirty clothes actually go in a particular place and not where they fell from their beautiful olive skinned bodies. (mind you, to see that olive skinned naked body again, I would be happy to pick up discarded clothing from anywhere, but I digress). It is easier to direct them gently, with beautiful cock in hand, to where the appropriate table linen is kept.

Just love them. It doesn’t get any simpler or easier. This is the real key here Dear hearts. Just love them. That should be enough. That should be all.

I hope this helps. I welcome your feedback and comments.

Enjoy the lesson.

With love
Miss Mich