Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dazed and Confused...

Dear hearts,

It seems this little blog has ruffled a few feathers.

Hmmm…what to do. What to do?

Miss Mich is quite careful about naming names. Miss Mich is not even sure who is real and who is a just a lovely fiction. Who is but a dream within a dream, a fancy to while away the monsoon hours here in the far far north. It’s all about possibilities Dear hearts. About potential. About what could be.

Miss Mich loves to entertain you, engage you and sometimes arouse you. I should think I never offend you, because as we all know…it’s all about the love.

Well mostly. Sometimes there is a dark side that needs to air its dark heart. But only to educate and elucidate. How I love alliteration.

Sadly, this brings us to the thorns in Miss Mich’s side. Miss Mich is lucky to have only three unlike you know who; who suffered five. I would like to think we both have God on our side, but as we know there are times when one is compelled to say…why have you forsaken me? Alright, I’m coming over all Catholic and melodramatic and in fact, probably offending a whole bunch of people by alluding to me and you know who in the same par.

Which brings me to the point of this rather unnecessary and somewhat rudderless tete et tete. Referencing two players in the one par. It seems the Sperm Donor is concerned that you Dear hearts are so simple that you may confuse said Donor with that of the Last Charm….

I know. But what can you do? Some people are never going to get it. It hurts me that he underestimates you. And merely confirms my opinion of him.

It is interesting though. I honestly thought that the last Charm was different to the aforementioned Sperm Donor. He was fun, liked to play and made Miss Mich feel 16 again. And then it all went down hill. As we know.

Whilst the Sperm Donor did not assault me or slash my clothes like the last Charm, he did threaten to take me to court (just today in fact) and was as threatening over text message, facebook and email. All of which my very good Solicitor has logged copies of. Just in case.

So it is interesting and has been an exceedingly pointed lesson for Miss Mich to have to learn.

Not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

I implore you Dear hearts, to be on the lookout for the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I suspect the Sperm Donor is going to be up in arms again over the mixing of Charm and Donor in this little entry.

What can you do? Dissapointment is as Dissapointment does. I’m channelling the dear Forrest Gump obvi.

Call me Robin Wright Penn ( I love her so please do call me Robin Wright Penn), there was a time when threats, bullying and coercion would have had me shaking in my boots. Would have made me want to run, Forrest, run.

But not anymore.

To the Sperm Donor I say this. You are not the Last Charm.


Miss Mich

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The First Amendment.

Dear hearts,

Censorship. According to the Concise Oxford it is the suppression of whole or parts of books, plays, films, letters, news etc on the grounds of obscenity, seditiousness etc.

Hmmm…. If that which I write about here in this little tete et tete with you Dear hearts gets you thinking and talking, then my work is done. Whether you deem the content obscene or seditious, it really is a matter of your opinion. And you are most welcome to it.

The Internet is a wonderful open forum that allows freedom of speech without censorship. You can say what you like. Fact, fiction, it’s all here and it’s all ok.

We are big boys and girls and have the freedom to pick and choose from the vast volume of material that which we need, or like, or just simply wish to view.

Or not.

So much to see, so little download time.

Take this little blog. I have 12 followers and I thank each and every one of you. To those who have not pledged their allegiance on line and yet still dip in and out from time to time, I thank you as well.

Miss Mich is a girl after everyone’s heart. There is a little Miss Mich in us all. Even the boys. She has always described herself as a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. Just ask Sha ron Morrie…

She is a chameleon and so very proud of it. She can be whatever you want her to be. Sometimes you would be surprised. Really..

What she will never be Dear hearts, is censored. She will continue to tell you the stories that come to mind to entertain you, educate you, inspire and delight you.

All with love. Obvi.

Enjoy the first amendment.

With a twinkle in her eye
Miss Mich

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Addendum - post Barbie.

Dear hearts,

Miss Christine has made the point, quite rightly, that I have missed out on a few Barbies. She feels that I have been a bit Goody too-Shoes about the whole thing. She wants to see a little balance. A little Yang to counter what she perceives as too much Yin.

So here, just for you Miss Christine, is my selection of Dark Barbies. And maybe a few Dark Kens. Just for fun.

Bitch Barbie comes top of mind. Bitch Barbie is your friend to your face and your enemy as soon as you leave the room. She wears the smile painted on her mouth while the gaze from her eyes is enough to cut through steel. It goes without saying you can’t trust a word she says.

Butch Barbie. I want to see lesbian Barbies on the shelf. She can be in the box next to Equal Opportunity Barbie.

Lipstick Lesbian Barbie. See above.

My own personal favourite – Latex Barbie. Now she can be a Dominatrix or she can be passive. Or she can just be a very naughty girl. Personally, I like to think of her as all three. We all know that she will come with a whip and paddle as her accessories. Nice. Very nice.

And now to some of the Darker Kens.

First of all, these Kens are all anatomically correct. They have penises.

Latex Ken. Obvi. The perfect match for our Latex Barbie. Both dressed by Westward Bound (see the website and you will know what I mean). Looking nice, naughty and shiny.

Stalker Ken. Dear hearts I include this Ken as a warning to you all. Having had my very own Stalker Ken I think it only fair to have him as one of our Dark Kens, if only to use Lawyer Barbie and Lara Croft Barbie against him. It will make for good action play. Lawyer Barbie will crucify him in court whilst Lara Croft Barbie will crucify him in the 10 mins she is given whilst the Seargent is turning a blind eye in the Watchhouse.

Just a snapshot dear hearts, I’m sure you can all think of loads more. For Miss Mich, I’m a little distracted by the Westward Bound site and really must add to cart….


With love
Mistress Mich

Friday, March 11, 2011

I want to be just like Barbie.

Dear hearts,

It’s funny how the rules of relationships make it almost impossible to succeed in any long term arrangement.

I am supported by statistics here. One in every three marriages will fail. Fact.

And yet. We are taught from very early that Ken and Barbie get married. Once. On the shelves of the local toy store, I have never seen Divorce Barbie…there’s a marketing opportunity. Or Blended Family Barbie. That one’s a challenge. Ooh what about Bitter ex-wife Barbie? Hmmm…she would be the one that comes with all the assets – Barbie’s dream home, Mercedes Benz, the kids and the dog. As you can imagine, you pay through the nose for her.

Being an Ex, without the bitterness, what would I be Dear hearts?... I’m thinking Second Chance Barbie. Allow me to explain.

I didn’t choose to change my life. It was chosen for me. Having said that I decided from the get go, and I’m talking Day Three (Jules will attest). Sitting at Jules kitchen table, shaking, with my twentieth cup of tea, that my success would be my best revenge. I would not need to resort to any of the common methods of torture, manipulation and destruction.

He could leave with the English Rose and I could stay with my dignity. That’s not to say there were not days of depression (Doona Days), days of resentment (Exercise Days) and days of Extreme Uncertainty (Panic Days). Without my girlfriends I could not have survived. Those girls remain Miss Mich’s bestest ever and I will always be grateful for their care and concern.

Back to Second Chance Barbie. Once over the hump of the aforementioned early days it was onwards and upwards. There were the charms and their lovely distractions. The last charm and the move to the far far north. When that whole thing went seriously pear shaped, then came the realisation that only I could be responsible for myself. That only I could direct and create my future.

It has taken nearly eight years to get to the point, Dear hearts, where I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. More importantly, Who I want to be when I grow up. Yes Capital Letter.


Yes. Stand alone par.

I want to be a role model for my children. I want to show them Strength and Consistency. Dependability and Generosity. Watch out, Capital Letters are going to fly Dear hearts.

I want to Contribute. To the Common Good. From the grass roots to the glass ceiling, I want to make some kind of difference. Personally, professionally and environmentally.

I want to share the Love.

With all.

I want to be Accountable. For the past, the present and the future. I am happy to confess my sins, reconcile my differences and go beyond the penance of three Hail Mary’s. If you have an issue with me. Bring it on.

If I can achieve all of that, I won’t be afraid any more.

None of this comes easily. And to try and be successful at all of that and an arrangement with someone significant is optimistic to say the least. But we must try. We must try to look beyond the complexities and beyond our own fears. We must value the good in each endeavour and honour the integrity of the original intent.

If Barbie can do it, then so can I.

So what does Second Chance Barbie come accessorised with I hear you ask? I’m thinking a mid-life University degree, a bunch of Capital letter worthy attributes and most impressive of all – Peace of Mind.

Enjoy the opportunity.

With love
Miss Mich