Saturday, July 24, 2010

Moving Forward

Dear hearts,

Following on from my previous tete et tete, it has been suggested I offer up a strategy for the future. Just because I had no grand plan when I was 18 doesn't mean I can't formulate one now. It's never too late. In the words of our fearless female leader and at the risk of aligning myself with a Ranga...”moving forward”... these are some of the things I would like to achieve.

I will start small.

A basketball backboard to play one on one and perfect my three pointers (I'm actually really good at them...)
A dog to walk and take to the beach
A bicycle to ride to coffee on the weekends
A family membership to the local tennis club so that all the little one's can hang out and hit balls
The opportunity to cook lavish meals of many courses and feed all the babies until they pop
To take you know who to see the Songbird perform
To have my darling boy live at home again, even if just for the summer holidays, so I can wash for him, cook for him and cuddle him
To be tucked in again. I didn't realise how precious that is until it happened for the first time, not very long ago

Next level

A boat would be nice. I miss the little fishy's. And I know they miss me
Travel. Anywhere. With you know who
The business that is in my head needs to be put on paper and then realised. Help with that would be good
Finish the book that is started and finish the rest of the stories, poetry and ideas that are currently bullet point word documents not unlike this

Top of the Pile

A garden
A house to go with it
The boy to go with that
L. Lots
A future of all of the above. A boy, all the babies and love.

This was easier than I thought Dear hearts. Simpler. Let's hope I can cross a few off the list and sit back in the afternoon and smile.

With love

Friday, July 23, 2010

Who'd have thought?...

Dear hearts,

I know I've gone on about this before, but I still can't believe what happens to me. How my life keeps unfolding.

I was contemplating in the shower, mystified as usual at the events that unfold daily, when it occurred to me...what did I actually expect from my life. I must confess to no grand plan beyond losing my virginity at 18 and a half...My biggest decision after leaving school was University or Virginity? It never occurred to me that I could do both concurrently.

So I deferred from Syd uni and moved to Kings Cross...obvi...

Talk about opening my eyes. My single bed had it's spot in the lounge room as both of the bedrooms were taken. One by my best friend with whom I went to school and the other by a beautiful bi sexual woman who worked for a large record company. Coming home at the end of a Saturday night out seeing live music when pubs still had stages and dance floors, it would be a bit of a lottery to see if my little bed was free or full of boys and girls.

And then I met the John that I thought would do the trick for me and I would move on. In my mind, I would get the embarrassing business of breaking the hymen out of the way with a faceless body, develop a little technique and get out. Sadly and for some unknown reason, it took three years. All was not lost completely. I spent a year in south east Asia and India that changed me forever and celebrated my 21st birthday in the beautiful city of Mysore.

With some life experience, it was in the desert town of Pushka that I unlocked the mystery of the baby O, and considerable travel experience behind me I was able then to move on. We all know about the Sperm donor and the Charms and fear not Dear hearts, there are still a few good stories left to tell, before we find ourselves here in the far far north. All in good time.

I could have settled for the safe option of tradie and cottage in the suburbs. I could have taken myself to uni and who knows what. To be honest, I think I would have become insufferable, elitist and extremely uptight. Disappearing up my own academic arsehole. I doubt I would have discovered the little tricks I now have to play with or have had the compassion for you Dear hearts and empathy for the universe generally. But I could be wrong. See that's the thing...I'll never know.

I guess it doesn't matter. I can't change anything that has gone before. And I wouldn't. Those Bright Young Things for example. All I can do is make those darlings aware of the choices they can make. The potential they have to exercise and the opportunities available to them. They are so lucky.

And so am I. I have you, I have them and my own potential to explore and develop.

Enough contemplation. Here's to the future. Whatever it may be.

Enjoy the possibility.

With love
Miss Mich

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What boys like

Dear hearts,

I want to make the disclaimer up front that what I am about to write is Academic. If I could live my life in words I would be a genius. A good looking, successful, funny, together, rich genius. Or maybe a fortune teller or turban wearing Guru. Maybe what I will do is have my bank account details at the bottom of this piece, and if my advice works for you, you can put money in my account…Just think, if I get good at this I may be able to retire from the pen world (it’s exhausting) and lie by the pool with laptop and cocktails dispensing advice and style tips…all the while listening to the electronic ca-ching…

Here we go.

What Boys Like or How to Win a Boys Love.

Ok stop laughing right now. I direct this comment to the Bright Young Things, Miss Mellie and Miss Christine. It may be true that I have not the best track record when it comes to these matters. But that does not preclude me, Dear hearts, from having good sound Academic Advice. (Please note the Capital letters…)

In theory, and let’s face it, that’s all I’ve got, …it’s not that difficult to put on paper what boys like or, how to win a boy’s love. I’m not suggesting you actually go out and have a crack, certainly not. What I am suggesting is that we look at the situation to try and understand (as girls), what makes those beautiful boys tick.

I do love them so. Well, some of them.

Paramount and top of list is:

You catch more bees with honey than lemon. The hair shirt doesn’t fit anybody well. You may think that by punishing them with silence or with holding yourself from them will whip them into shape, but here’s the tip, you are sorely mistaken. It will only drive them inward and lead ultimately to resentment and detachment. And it’s not good for you either. Who needs black in their heart.

They don’t like a nag. The more you berate, the more you go over old beaten ground, the more they will dig their heels in and withdraw. Horses, dogs or men…you do not want to see the white of their eyes.

Don’t be a Ball breaker. The days of breaking a horses spirit to make it do as you please are gone. Who wants a ride like that anyway. Don’t use guilt or coercion or threats. It says more about your inadequacies than it does the other.

DON’T SHOUT! Awful isn’t it? And so unseemly…A little decorum girls. One can make a far stronger point by lowering one’s voice and having a steely determination in one’s tone. Trust me, Dear hearts, at that one I am very good.

Mind Games. Don’t get involved in that shit. It does no one any good and will only end in tears. If you do it, I sincerely hope the tears are all yours.

That’s quite a few Don’ts. Shall we move on to some Do’s.

Do relax. Frankie said it best in the 80’s. And he is still on the money (shot)…Uptight, intense women are really scary. Enough said, I’m frightened just thinking of it..and as someone once said to me…just relax girl. I must confess to that making me a little bit horny, but that was a different dynamic…and it did make me relax.

Play. I have spoken of this before. Boys, no matter their age…are boys. It’s not difficult. It’s actually incredibly simple. Boys love to play. Word games, sex games, wrestling, cowboys and Indians…easy. And too much fun..It’s a win win situation.

Be generous. Listen to them. They may wish to spend 10 minutes explaining a diesel engine and the difference between torque and performance (or something like that..I wasn’t fully listening..) but it’s not going to kill you to appear interested and you may actually learn something.

Acknowledge their effort. They try really hard. They really do. Let’s be honest, we are hard arses. We set these standards, and I’m not suggesting they should be lowered. Noone has higher standards of manners and behavior than Miss Mich, but it is our responsibility to acknowledge when they make an effort. Often, they cannot fathom why it is so important to us that the table napkins be folded in a particular way, or that the toilet seat should always be down. Or that their dirty clothes actually go in a particular place and not where they fell from their beautiful olive skinned bodies. (mind you, to see that olive skinned naked body again, I would be happy to pick up discarded clothing from anywhere, but I digress). It is easier to direct them gently, with beautiful cock in hand, to where the appropriate table linen is kept.

Just love them. It doesn’t get any simpler or easier. This is the real key here Dear hearts. Just love them. That should be enough. That should be all.

I hope this helps. I welcome your feedback and comments.

Enjoy the lesson.

With love
Miss Mich

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Letter to the Libertine

Dear heart,

You know I'm a great believer in the Universe. A great believer in the string that binds us and the songs that are sung along the invisible lines and ties that connect us. All of us.

For this reason we will always be connected. We will always be able to hear and feel each others vibration, tone and hum.

Breath will still be shared. It will make its way from lung to lung. Florence will remind us of that and the gentle sound of the exhalation as the breath heralds the coming will always be remembered.

Muscle has memory and and will live to serve that memory. Every stretch, every contraction, every flex will be testament to that which came before. It's important to keep moving. Always keep moving.

It's important to stay flexible. Don't give in to that sofa. Don't let the mind settle. Keep it moving as well. Open the mind, let the world in. Let every possibility have its say. It is your duty to share the world with the little ones as well. Give them alternatives. Make them think. Of other things.

For the gift that is you, I will always be grateful. How much have I been shown. I have seen within myself a kaleidescope of colours and textures and potential. How lucky am I.

I have so much to thank you for, but to do that I would have to open the box of sentimentality and its right at the back of the top shelf of you know which cupboard, so I'm just going to leave it there for now. I'm not good with glass as you know, and I don't think I could deal with another breakage just now.

So anyway...know that my energy will always be seeking out yours. They fit well and they really like each other.

And if you see Boy along the way, Piglet says tell him he's a really good root.

With love.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Is that monkey wearing a hat?

Dear hearts,

Idiocracy. New term. Capital letter. Capital idea.

All kudos for this little darling must go to the Baby.

There we were, swinging our way through the graceful curves to the beautiful Port Douglas and her markets. Laughing, teasing, blonde hair swirling. The songbird playing DJ, Mother of the year critiquing (with love) the comings and the goings of both sweet young things, when the Baby cries out…I can’t take this idiocracy any more! Such a statement silenced the happy trio, before the laughter flew out of us like helium filled conversation balloons and billowed out of the little bubble of a car. I’m surprised we didn’t lift off…

I’m embracing the term. I am determined to make it part of the Australian vernacular. Well, a part of mine, no less. It’s perfect. Forget idiocy. Idiocracy is a whole new territory. A new world if you like. With its own Government, its own parliament. Can you imagine the Upper House, the House of Idiot Lords? The house of Idiot Commons….In my mind I see all as very well dressed monkeys…in military uniform, with little caps on their heads. Something like the organ grinders monkey, something like Cheetah from the original Tarzan. Noble savage, noble idiot, idiot savant. Alright, I digress…

Then the Libertine speaks of mediocrity. Hmmm. Mediocrity frightens me. Always has. I hope it always will. The specter that is mediocrity was the wolf in sheep’s clothing that Miss Mich would reveal with a start(Boo!) when she told those darling Bright Young Things bedtime stories. Forget Twilight, Dear hearts. The vampire in my opinion is the aforementioned mediocrity. The one thing that terrifies me most, that keeps me awake at night is the fear of descending into the clammy arms of the ordinary. Of accepting things as sufficient. Of thinking, this will do…

And then of course there is The Principle of Mediocrity. Or if you want to sound terribly clever, the Copernican Principle. Throw that little darling in the mix when you wish to rise above the ordinaire, the mediocre. It all comes down to the Ms Morgan-King principle that we are not unique…she must have been channeling Copernicus over morning tea at her kitchen table. Spooky…

What is even spookier is the thought, if you take the Mediocrity Principle and run with it, that there are parallel universes throughout the cosmos, that are showing re runs of So you think you can Dance, Biggest Loser, Aussie Idol and that gem of lowest common denominator reality programming - Big Brother. All as we speak, and all in Clingon obvi…

Imagine all of those parallel life forms sitting down in front of enormous Clingon Plasma TV’s. Wondering who will be the next mediocre thing…

We all like to think we are different, but somehow the same. Take the Indonesian motto “Unity in Diversity”. Take the Benneton tag line “The United Colours of Benneton” (I loved that campaign). My new found favourite, however, is this little pearl just picked up on Brainy Quote:

“In essentials, unity; in differences, liberty; in all things, charity”

That my friends is the most meaningful 10 words out of the 556 I have just written. Apologies to have made you read this far to get to it…Congratulations to those who have persevered.

Enjoy the same difference.

With love
Miss Mich

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Doona Days

Dear hearts,

Miss Michs’ very good friend, the lovely Jules, has the perfect expression for those days when you need to hide. When you need to curl up into a teeny tiny ball and feel ridiculously sorry for yourself.

Doona Days. It of course qualifies for Capital letter worthy status.

It can be the sunniest of days. It can be the weekend or your birthday. It could be the day you finally get that pony. That doesn’t mean you are exempt. And it doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you.

Miss Mich and the lovely Jules have had our share of these days, speaking to each other from under protection of said doona, pretending the washing isn’t there, dinner doesn’t need to be made, children don’t need to be picked up from school…..woops…

All jokes aside, in Miss Mich’s former life there was the odd day when staying in bed sniffling was just the tonic. (Before the 6pm gin and tonic, obvi..). Miss Mich was new to this major disappointment business and still coming to terms with things never being the same again. The sperm donor was cavorting with the English rose in MM’s Eastern Suburbs back garden so to speak, making things altogether very unpleasant and difficult.

It’s a bit different now. I’m much more experienced with disappointment and have developed skills to deal with it that don’t involve losing the entire day, leaving one’s children at school or howling under the pillow.

There is of course my dear friend Discipline of whom we have spoken. There is exercise. The more one moves, the more one can feel one is moving away from the source of that disappointment. With exercise all you need to do is move your body. Move it enough and you won’t have to think, just concentrate on making muscles do their job. Simple.

That old and dependable chestnut aside, there is something MM has just discovered.


I’m giving it a stand alone par. Miss Mich’s newest and dearest, the beautiful and serene Miss Kerie is a devotee of all things spiritual and good. Even better, she practices what she preaches. It was Miss Kerie who has enlightened Miss Mich to the concept of surrender.

I must say here and now that initially the thought of just giving up to something completely went against the do or die fighter that lives within Miss Mich. How can one say bring it on without one’s fists in the ready position? How does one face the fury without the benefit of spear and warrior pose? I must admit to struggling with the concept. Faith is one thing, but letting the current take you with stones in your pockets is quite another thing. Just ask Virginia Woolf.

Miss Kerie gave me a passage to read. An open letter from her Guru to all. An invitation from him, (a funny looking guy with a kind eye, big afro and a sweeping Kaftan), to take on the burden of our worries. To pick us up and lead us, not in the direction that we may have chosen for ourselves, but ultimately arriving at the right place with the best outcome.

Challenging nest pas?

For days Miss Mich mulled this over and eventually came to the point of acceptance that surrender could be the way to go. Even though Miss Mich can now deal with things without the security blanket (read doona), the legacy of disappointment is the stone one carries around, not in one’s pocket, but in the stomach. This unhappy feeling in one’s belly is a terrible thing indeed, Dear hearts. And one that can render, and I speak for myself, one almost unable to go on. I’m sounding a little melodramatic and if I’m not careful I shall put myself under said doona and stay there until I get my emotional shit together (so to speak)

To avoid all of this, Miss Mich put a scroll under the Buddha’s arm surrendering to the will of the universe, lit some incense, had a robust glass of something fruity and put herself to bed.

How I have reconciled this surrender business, and a little clue for you Dear hearts, is that one can do one’s best to move towards the desired outcome, be as responsible for one’s self as is possible and hope for the best. Not exactly sitting back and not exactly surging forward. A compromise perhaps? A deal with whatever devil it may be? Or a collaboration between your own spirit and the omnipotent spirit that drives the universe.

Enjoy the compromise.

With love
Miss Mich