Doona Days

Dear hearts,

Miss Michs’ very good friend, the lovely Jules, has the perfect expression for those days when you need to hide. When you need to curl up into a teeny tiny ball and feel ridiculously sorry for yourself.

Doona Days. It of course qualifies for Capital letter worthy status.

It can be the sunniest of days. It can be the weekend or your birthday. It could be the day you finally get that pony. That doesn’t mean you are exempt. And it doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you.

Miss Mich and the lovely Jules have had our share of these days, speaking to each other from under protection of said doona, pretending the washing isn’t there, dinner doesn’t need to be made, children don’t need to be picked up from school…..woops…

All jokes aside, in Miss Mich’s former life there was the odd day when staying in bed sniffling was just the tonic. (Before the 6pm gin and tonic, obvi..). Miss Mich was new to this major disappointment business and still coming to terms with things never being the same again. The sperm donor was cavorting with the English rose in MM’s Eastern Suburbs back garden so to speak, making things altogether very unpleasant and difficult.

It’s a bit different now. I’m much more experienced with disappointment and have developed skills to deal with it that don’t involve losing the entire day, leaving one’s children at school or howling under the pillow.

There is of course my dear friend Discipline of whom we have spoken. There is exercise. The more one moves, the more one can feel one is moving away from the source of that disappointment. With exercise all you need to do is move your body. Move it enough and you won’t have to think, just concentrate on making muscles do their job. Simple.

That old and dependable chestnut aside, there is something MM has just discovered.

Surrender.

I’m giving it a stand alone par. Miss Mich’s newest and dearest, the beautiful and serene Miss Kerie is a devotee of all things spiritual and good. Even better, she practices what she preaches. It was Miss Kerie who has enlightened Miss Mich to the concept of surrender.

I must say here and now that initially the thought of just giving up to something completely went against the do or die fighter that lives within Miss Mich. How can one say bring it on without one’s fists in the ready position? How does one face the fury without the benefit of spear and warrior pose? I must admit to struggling with the concept. Faith is one thing, but letting the current take you with stones in your pockets is quite another thing. Just ask Virginia Woolf.

Miss Kerie gave me a passage to read. An open letter from her Guru to all. An invitation from him, (a funny looking guy with a kind eye, big afro and a sweeping Kaftan), to take on the burden of our worries. To pick us up and lead us, not in the direction that we may have chosen for ourselves, but ultimately arriving at the right place with the best outcome.

Challenging nest pas?

For days Miss Mich mulled this over and eventually came to the point of acceptance that surrender could be the way to go. Even though Miss Mich can now deal with things without the security blanket (read doona), the legacy of disappointment is the stone one carries around, not in one’s pocket, but in the stomach. This unhappy feeling in one’s belly is a terrible thing indeed, Dear hearts. And one that can render, and I speak for myself, one almost unable to go on. I’m sounding a little melodramatic and if I’m not careful I shall put myself under said doona and stay there until I get my emotional shit together (so to speak)

To avoid all of this, Miss Mich put a scroll under the Buddha’s arm surrendering to the will of the universe, lit some incense, had a robust glass of something fruity and put herself to bed.

How I have reconciled this surrender business, and a little clue for you Dear hearts, is that one can do one’s best to move towards the desired outcome, be as responsible for one’s self as is possible and hope for the best. Not exactly sitting back and not exactly surging forward. A compromise perhaps? A deal with whatever devil it may be? Or a collaboration between your own spirit and the omnipotent spirit that drives the universe.

Enjoy the compromise.

With love
Miss Mich