WHO? Swine Flu that's who...

Dear hearts,

Miss Mich has been thinking about her bio security of late. With all of this Swine Flu business on top of the Avian crisis of 2004, Miss Mich is hoping that there are no pandemics on the horizon relating to Elephantitus (thick ankles, or cankles as the bright young things refer to them, will never do).

Rest assured Miss Mich has been doing her research both on the net as well as screening her friends. One snort from Sha ron Morrie and thats it...

It appears that pigs can mix and match their flu's, a little like Miss Mich mixing and matching her cocktails..the headache that results from both should be a lesson to you all. We have been warned by the experts to expect the unexpected when it comes to flu...I must confide that I do not feel confident when the experts are telling me there are no flu rules. This is no mere Bikie war, Dear hearts..

Quoted in that most venerable of publications, The Daily Times - A new voice for Pakistan, is the fear of Swine Flu spreading like a Mexican wave (don't you love it..). The more pressing question being posed further at the top of the e page is do you want to meet sexy muslim singles? I feel a case of Oxymoron coming on, catch me if I swoon..(or swine)

God love Google. One can view data relating to Swine Flu trends. Miss Mich made the mistake of thinking there may be a style angle here, some designer face masks perhaps and was a little dissapointed to only find a couple of pedestrian graphs and advertising for other google services. Ho hum..

What Miss Mich did find that was more than interesting was info of the very first pandemic in recorded history. Picture this: 430BC, everyone is into wearing toga's, the mumu of Greece. The Peloponnesian war is in full swing. Athens and Sparta are at it. It makes Miss Mich think of Tony Curtis in Sparticus v Russell Crowe in Gladiator..(ok I'm mixing my Greeks and Romans, just like Miss Mich and her cocktails, but the imagery is good). Thucydides, war correspondent for News Ltd BC gets the front page scoop: "Mystery flu kills 30 000 Athenians". You do realise, Dear hearts, that constituted two thirds of the Athenian population..imagine the real estate opportunites...

The symptoms were really scary. To do the disease justice I quote Thucydides "People in good health were all of a sudden attacked by violent heats in the head, and redness and inflammation in the eyes, the inward parts, such as the throat or tongue, becoming bloody and emitting an unnatural and fetid breath" It gets worse. Next came coughing and diarrhea, spasms and skin ulcers. A handful survived , but often without their fingers, sights and even genitals. Genitals, excuse me? To lose one's sporting equipment would be worse than expiration itself!

With all of this in mind, Miss Mich has decided that there will be no sharing of bodily fluids, (thank the Greek Gods I am still under the cloak), sneezing (although a good sneeze can be as satisfying as a little sport) or BLT's for breakfast (just in case).

Enjoy Tuesday.

Love Miss Mich